S T U C K

This past week has been so strange. I am now on the third day of what will turn out to be a four day journey home. I will not miss overnight train or bus rides, sleeping in the airport, or smog.

However, looking back just a few days, my last night in Krabi rivaled my last night on Lamma, give or take a few degrees. It was a wonderfully clear sky, with a bright full moon, and there was just something lurking in the air. For the first half of the night I was laying around on these beautiful platforms, listening to the ocean with one ear, and to the music with the other. Watching fire spinners working out their stuff. Among other things that night, I am now in love with this band called the Bedouin Sound Clash... I think. No one could really tell me much, except that they are from England and have a pretty good following. As I have been out of the country and most of the music scene for the past three months... if anyone has any idea what band I'm talking about, I would LOVE more info. Cuz I need the music. Asap.

The next day was a late start and a bit of a let down on the island. Apparently the guy that Elle and Emma had met the night before kind of blew us off, as we were supposed to use his rope to go climbing so that we could get out of a crazy fee for only a few hours. At this point I went solemnly wandering the island, hoping someone would see how pathetic I looked and tell me they would take me out climbing. And it worked! Except, my new friend Mic is a really good climber and his new friend Jess is NOT. So we went to the Fire Wall, where the two of us managed to scramble me up this one crazy hard route, and then I got halfway through another one before my arms decided they were going to take the rest of the day off. Quitters. It didn't really matter, though, because I was headed off to Ao Nang to head to Bangkok to head back to Hong Kong to head to San Francisco to head home.

Lucky for me, I met a lovely British fellow on the pickup truck in Ao Nang and we were able to accompany each other all the way to Bangkok Airport the next day. It worked out so well, our flights were leaving within ten minutes of each other. This guy works for British Airways and was making me wildly jealous with his tales. He gets to fly pretty much anywhere for next to nothing, is funny, fun to talk to, makes enough to vacation whenever he wants and gets loads of time off. In addition to all that good stuff, his girlfriend gets to fly wherever SHE wants pretty much for free. So I casually asked him if he thought he would be needing a new girlfriend any time soon. Turns out he is quite attached to the current one. Go figure.

It doesn't REALLY matter though, because though I joke about the British Airways dude, I did meet a nice man I actually would marry. Of course, he doesn't know that, cuz he is pratically married off to someone who is not me, so there's no need in making a fool out of myself. But that's the rub about meeting so many people all the time. It seems like I am constantly nurturing a smarting heart.

And now I'm stuck in the Hong Kong airport. Yesterday was probably the worst day I have had in a very long time. Everything was fine until I realized that $3000 in traveler's cheques were missing from my money belt. So as I was trying to deal with that, my plane (unbeknownst to me) was taking off without me because I forgot to set my watch forward an hour from Bangkok time. I could see the plane rolling away as I got to the gate, and I thought to myself, "why is there no one here? They must have moved the gate... again" But then as I was walking up, the woman at the boarding gate said "Miss Brown?" and then in my surprise that this woman would know who I am out of alllllllll the passengers on this flight... it hit me exactly what was happening. And from two nights of no sleep and not eating properly, I just broke down and started sobbing on the floor. It was so awful. I was so thrilled with the idea of getting picked up by my dad, and then heading to a hotel - which is oddly something that is really fun for me, staying in hotel- and then goign home without ever having to navigate my way through ONE subway with my huge bags. Plus with the advent of the traveler's cheques and the fact that I didn't have any more money, and that I KNEW they were going to steal that stupid change fee from me... I wajust lost it. Oh man, it was horrible. I effectlively bought another plane ticket just because I made a stupid mistake. That 250 bucks gets me a whole week of Spanish school, or a one way ticket to the Bay area, or a round trip ticket to Guatemala. I tried telling this to the woman behind the counter, through sniffs and sobs, but she wasn't hearing it. I hope if she's ever in a state like I was yesterday, she doesn't run into herself somewhere. Cuz that was not fun at all.

But there are nice people all over the place, and as I was huddled in a corner trying to make sense of myself, feeling really stupid and lonely and trying to blubber quietly, this wonderful man... whom I will refer to now as my Balinese Guardian Angel... came over with a sandwich and some water and sat and talked with me for a long time. He did some breathing exercises with me, and we chatted for a long time about Hinduism and spirituality and meditation. It was great. It made me almost want to cancel my trip home and head to Bali with him and his family. Which is good, I like being excited about that. But Bali will be still be there when I actually have money, so like most things, it will have to wait.

So it's now ten o clock and I am going to check in for my flight. With any luck, in another 24 hours I will be in a car, with my dad, heading home. Finally.